Broome & Beyond

2.6.2023 – 20.6.2023

Dear reader,

As soon as we arrived in Broome I had my first accident of the trip – falling headfirst into a pint of ginger beer at Matsos Brewery. Having spent half my childhood growing up in Broome, it certainly wasn’t my first visit to this iconic location – however its not a place one exactly gets sick of and I was keen to get into full relaxation mode after our past few jammed packed weeks. We lobbed up to Hotel Purgs (my sisters joint), and I was pleased to see the place was crackerboxed to my specifications (I am well known in the family for judging my peasant siblings pigsty lifestyles, so no doubt Prue was out to impress me). I was also reunited with my step-dog Flo, and was introduced to the newest member of the flock, Jimmy (a big goofball dog who was about to be put down until Prue swooped in at the 11th hour and saved him – good on ya Purgs). Jimmy took a liking to Matt straight away but absolutely blacklisted me and gave me attitude – but by the end of the trip he was loving me (I can hear Prue saying “hmm…debatable”).

Our first full day in Broome we took the hounds to Reddell Beach for a hoon, gorged on chips and ginger beers at Matsos, then did a vegan chicken burger cook up down Cable Beach for sunset where we were treated to a private DJ sesh by Gus (Prue’s housemate). Absolute bangers. The next day we slapped the boards on the roof and headed up to Coconut Wells, where a bit of a wave materialized on the turn of the swell and we managed to get a surf in. Even Jimmy was surfing on Prue’s mini-mal. I treated myself to a lovely hours walk along Cable Beach at sunset while Matt whiled away the time drinking beers.

*Jimbo trying to decide if he hates me or just dislikes me strongly.*

*Broome + sunsets really go hand in hand.*

*Believe it or not, some waves came in on the turn of the tide and we surfed this spot.*

*Big Sexy showing us how she got her name.*

*Camels got in the way of my beach shot. Fecking camels.*

Our next day trip took us out to Willie Creek, where we chanced a dip in a little rock pool area where the water was crystal clear and chances of a crocodile munching us were slim (although note there is a resident salty at Willie Creek). We spent a few hours exploring, sipping cups of tea (my case), beers (Matts case) and feasting on tofu wraps for lunch. Prue’s bf’s mates rolled up and went down for a fish, upon return Prue asked conversationally “get any bites?” and Amy replied “a couple” – then tried showing us her mozzie bites. Lol. Play on!

*Willie Creek local dog dominating the pic.*

*Got staunched by some horses en-route to Willie Creek.*

The next few days were a revolving door of iced coffees, taste testing different bevvies at various Broome watering holes, illegal swims in resort pools (getting offered fresh watermelon poolside by hotel staff to boot), hot chips, long beach walks, and epic Cable Beach sunsets. Oh, and we also checked out the croc park.

*Jimmys side eye letting me know if I come one step closer that will be the last thing I ever do. Flo in the background praying for my soul.*

*Absolutely stunning scenes down at Cable Beach.*

*Champ enjoying the luxuries of Hotel Purgs.*

*B Vaughan getting back to her barista roots and serving up some shit hot soy flats.*

*Big tourist energy coming in from Matty Dub.*

*“You try hug me like this, and I’ll f**k you up.” - Jimmy, 2023.*

*Sneaking into hotel pools and acting the fool.*

*Photo evidence of me finally making some paw-gress with Jimmy.*

I was doing some mindless scrolling one morning and a picture of the Horizontal Waterfalls popped up – Matt exclaimed “where the hells this? I need to go.” I was like “oh yeh, you can get there from here, its pretty sick.” It had slipped my mind as a destination because I’d been there a fair few times for work before. I was admonished heavily by Matt for not doing my due diligence as his personal Broome & Beyond tour guide, and before I knew it he was booking us on an overnight stay on a lux house boat, complete with helicopter tour. We left the next morning, and were the only passengers on the connecting flight to Derby – so it basically felt like we had chartered a private jet.

*This totally wasn’t the plane we took.*

*Matt wearing his name badge like an absolute pleb.*

*Flying over the Buccaneer archipelago is always a treat.*

We arrived and met up with the rest of the group on our tour – median age about 65. I felt my disdain for organized fun/tourist nonsense flare, and groaned internally at the thought of having to make menial small talk with these randos. But in the end I had to eat my words – the oldies provided the best conversation I’ve had on the trip so far (soz Hat) – full of good stories and banter. The oldies also knew how to throw back a few bevvies. We took a seaplane over to the Horizontal Falls and then a small boat to our big house boat accommodation thing. The company we went with was Horizontal Falls Seaplane Adventures – would recommend if anyone’s up that way. Great staff, food and service (and I’m a service snob so that says a lot coming from me). We spent the day galivanting around in helicopters and taking boat rides through the falls. The next morning there was more boat rides and sight seeing before we hopped back on the seaplane and jetted back to Derby, then Broome, waving our new grey nomad besties off.

*Spectacular Horizontal Falls scenery. Couldn’t be bothered captioning the whole lot, sue me.*

*Flying back in over Cable beach looking out to Gantheaume.*

Being treated to 5-star luxury was draining, so when we got back to Broome we relaxed over a bevvy at the Mangrove (again).

*Contemplating the number of man hours it will take me to erase all signs of Hat from this blog if we ever break up.*

Over the next couple of days we did a few more day trips out of Broome – back to Coconut Wells, then the south side of Willie Creek, then up to James Price Point. Driving back from James Price Point at dusk Hat and I got the fright of our lives when a huge creature lurched across the track then disappeared into the bush – it looked like a legit moose. It definitely had antlers. Not horns…antlers. To this day we still don’t know what the heck it was.

At some point during our Broome stint I was challenged to a step comp by the gals (Bear and Kitty) so I made sure to be pacing around whilst sculling my ginger beers, and it inspired me to do a lovely hours walk each evening at Cables (Hat would drop me off 5 km’s or so up the beach, then retire to a bar and have a few pints whilst waiting for me to walk back – the system worked well).

*Had to throw in this pic of Aunty D’s dog Izzy (also known as Flossy). She’s the OG.*

*My nephew Braxy boo being his cute as shit self.*

*More progress pics of mine and Jimmys relationship.*

*James Price Point rockpools. Champ approved.*

*Rare footage of Hat tolerating my presence.*

Prue and crew got into the touristy mode with us, and we all booked an evening cruise on the Willie, one of Australia’s last operating pearl luggers. It was an absolute glass off evening and beautiful conditions. We swam in a net off the side of the boat and got smacked hard by a smack of jellyfish – it was like swimming in tentacle soup. Worth it but. The staff were going round with some canapes and whilst swimming in the net offered Matt (well known dis-liker of seafood) an oyster… “oh yeh, f**k it, I’ve never had one of these before”… our mate Brad looked on in horror as Matt took it, and not knowing what to do, started chewing on it. A look disgust fell over his face before he politely swallowed…“that was a bit hectic aye.”

*If the roof is on fire it’s an electrical problem.*

*Lying in this net had me feeling like a lump of Christmas pork wrapped in that shoe-lace stuff.*

*Couple of the year (as voted by myself).*

*Cleo Magazine bachelor of the year nominee 2023 - bad boy BMX’er edition.*

In between all the hot chips, seltzers and general lazing around we (and by that I mean Matt) was busy fixing things up in the car and doing general trip related errands. Eventually we realized that we would probably need to make tracks from Broome if we had a hope of getting around the top end in the dry season. We stocked up with about three weeks worth of supplies (this took the troopy to absolutely max space capacity) and begrudgingly said goodbye to the comfort of plumbing and a beaut queen sized bed (shoutout Gus) and geared ourselves up to get back in the Troopy and journey onwards.

*Had to give a shoutout to this phenomenal mandarin spritzer from the Zoo Cafe.*

Broome was a great pitstop and lovely to catch up with the fam (shoutout Purgs, Lurgs, Braxy Boo and Aunty D). Gonna leave this blog post here because honestly I could have probably summed up this chapter in a few words: chippies, ginger beers, lazing about and beach walks – but for some reason I’m acting like I’m back at Uni trying to reach the word count on an assignment so I’ve eked it out to a coupla pages. Get pumped for my next episode though as we Galivant through the Gibb.

Until then my salacious seagrass slaves,

Yours faithfully,

The Dugong.

Galivanting across the Gibb

Poddling through the Pilbara